Not a few cultures use crowns in the ritual of the marriage ceremony. This is common in the Orthodox churches and in many Eastern Catholic rites as well.

photo: OrthoChristian.Com

The sovereignty of the couple is their exclusive authority to discern how the Lord is leading them. An example of this is when to open their family to having a child. Even the Pope cannot tell them that they must try to conceive another child. Of course the Church teaches them about marriage and morality. And of course the couple can seek specific advice from whom they trust. But the spouses as the ministers of their Sacrament are sovereign in the authority and responsibility for decisions in the domestic church.

In 2008, Pope Benedict XVI was preparing for the World Youth Day. Even before the Summer of the event, he took the opportunity to catechize many different audiences and members of the faithful at liturgies. On Pentecost he reminded us what it means to be Baptized in the Holy Spirit, both in his homily and at the Regina Caeli audience. This would be his main message to the Youth several months later. He defined Baptism in the Holy Spirit as being aware and living consciously the graces received in our Baptism and Confirmation.

We recently made a leap and considered what it would mean for a couple to have their marriage Baptized in the Holy Spirit. It would mean being aware and living consciously the graces received through the Sacrament of Matrimony. In mid-January fifty committed couples who have been serving for at least three years as part of our team made a retreat focusing on this reality and culminating the weekend with a time of asking the Holy Spirit to Baptize these couples in the Holy Spirit.


Daniel & Santana in the foreground, praying the prayer of surrendering their authority to the Lordship of Jesus who is ever-present with them in the covenant of Matrimony.

How does the grace of the sacrament touch the lives of the spouses and bring life to their union? How can spouses be more aware, and in communication with each other, regarding the unifying power of the Holy Spirit and His gentle but sure leading for their vocation? These were the questions that gave focus to the themes, meditations and activities of the retreat.


Carlos (wearing mask) and his wife, Ana, approach the altar by the center aisle, preparing to submit their authority and soverenty to Jesus. A photo on the wall suggests St John Paul II interceding for their marriage and family. They will then cast their crowns at the altar. 

The act of casting down their crowns before the throne of the God acknowledges His sovereignty and expresses that their power and authority is a service of sharing and participating in the same authority which belongs to Him. We also acknowledged the great dignity of our vocation; the high and exalted calling of Matrimony as a privileged participation in the life-giving power and authority given to live as families and give witness to the Lordship of Jesus present in our lives today. May His life and grace flow through us to our families (the domestic church), to the Universal Church and to the world.