St. John Paul II characterizes the vocation of husband and father as a high and exalted vocation; a way of picking up the cross daily and following as the Lord Jesus leads. The two missionary Sacraments are Matrimony and Holy Orders. On the mission there is always more to do. These two vocations in particular require prayerfully setting priorities and relying on the Holy Spirit to fill in for our limitations.
Observing the Mexican custom of celebrating a quinceañera (a daughter’s fifteenth birthday) is quite illuminating. This custom is the family’s way of presenting their daughter to society and is much akin to a debutant “coming out” ceremony. In earlier generations, when marriage was a social arrangement agreed upon by parents, rather than the bride or groom deciding to whom they would be engaged, this belonged particularly in the realm of the father. The current way of celebrating a quinceañera still anachronistically reflects this aspect of a father looking for the best suitors for his daughter. Similarly, weddings often hark back to the father giving away his daughter as an exchange of a family’s wealth and resources.
As you observe, in our day and age, fathers are quite unaware of their role to govern, provide and protect their wife and children, and of what it would mean to do so. The time of a daughter reaching fifteen years of age sneaks up on everyone but especially a busy man. The relationship should have been growing steadily between him and this particular daughter. If that is not the case, he will often try to buy that trust and affection with gifts or an overly expensive and overblown public celebration rivaling a wedding.
Four adolescent daughters celebrated their quinceañeras together this month in the mission. They decided to study the custom and how to tune into discerning their personal vocation. They planned a simple ceremony at Mass assisted by all of their guests together. Their fathers have been part of Seguidores de la Cruz and receive teaching and support in their vocation as husband/father. They made an observable gesture during the father-daughter dance at the celebration after the Mass. Each father gave a simple bracelet to his daughter, promising to continue to help her to discover, prepare and enter into her vocation as the Lord reveals his plan to her. Each of the girls was visibly moved by the surprise. After that first dance everyone was welcomed out onto the dance floor to continue the festivities.
After that first dance everyone was welcomed out onto the dance floor.